Are you working hard to help your friend complete his college project while your own project is suffering?
Are you keen on helping others succeed in life and your own success is nowhere to be seen?
Did you recently get scolded by your teacher for not completing your assignment? (You couldn’t complete it on time because your classmate had borrowed your notebook to complete HER assignment)
Do you always put yourself in the last thinking it doesn’t make any difference?
Do you sacrifice little pleasures in life so others can get it BEFORE you and you can hear people saying “Oh! He is so co-operative and nice”?
If your answer for any of the questions above is ‘YES’ you are in deep trouble. It might sound harsh but you are heading for failure.
What is the Key to Success?
Can you think of one common trait among all the successful people you have come across so far? It’s SELFISHNESS.
The people who are successful in any filed are the ones who put themselves first, as any wise individual who knows the real meaning of selfishness would.
Being selfish simply means that you are taking care of yourself and your needs first, which in turn helps you to become independent and resourceful. And now you can serve people around you in a better and more satisfying manner.
A selfish person takes good care of his body, mind and soul so he can become capable enough to share his talents with the world because sharing is what makes life worth living.
Why Selfishness is Condemned?
Selfishness is a beautiful phenomenon but has been condemned so much that people have forgotten its actual meaning. Being selfish has been mistaken as being mean.
A mean person is simply heartless – without any concern or regard for others. He simply wants to exploit people and take advantage of them. His philosophy of life is to get everything by hooks or by crooks.
A selfish person puts HIMSELF first without exploiting or taking advantage of anyone and also respects others right to be selfish.
But people feel ashamed of being selfish. They feel guilty, as if they are doing something wrong. It simply indicates lack of healthy self esteem.
When you are not sure about yourself, you find it difficult to put yourself first. You feel uneasy being selfish where everyone around you is saying it’s bad.
It’s quite natural in a country like India to feel guilty about being selfish, where people are fond of songs like ‘Apne liye jiye toh kya jiye tu jee aye dil zamane ke liye’, where sacrificing one’s pleasure for others is not just glorified but considered sacred as well.
Believing in such absurd concepts signifies that something is wrong with you. You take pleasure in torturing yourself and you have to do whatever it takes to correct it ASAP.
Why Become Selfish?
Because it is simply stupid NOT TO BE.
The first person you need to take care is none other than you. You have to take care of your health, your thoughts, your values, your talents, the words you speak and the actions you take.
In other words – everything that comes under your territory.
It is absolutely natural to be selfish, unless you have been conditioned to sacrifice your life for others. People have been fooled in the name of being nice to others. You should be nice to yourself first and then to anyone else.
It is only when you treat yourself with love and respect that you can love and respect others.
As Mahatma Gandhi rightly puts it “Be the change you want to see in the world”
You have been taught that things work in this order -
The World-> Country -> Society-> Family-> Self
It’s a LIE!
The correct order is this-
Self-> Family-> Society-> Country-> World
I don’t care if it sounds harsh or even mean. Facts remain facts.
Just think-
If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others?
If you are not happy, how can you make others happy?
If you can’t take care of even your own home, how can you take care of your country?
If you are not wealthy, how can you help others become wealthy?
(By the way, I read a line about helping poor people somewhere on the internet and it’s just perfect –“The only way to help poor people is not be one of them”)
Not Being Selfish leads to failure
My father helped others become self sufficient and put himself in the last. He rarely thought about himself and family. I remember visiting my village with him on the occasion of one of my aunts’ marriage. (I was about 10 at that time) I wanted to go outside and play with other kids of my age. (As any kid of my age would)
My father scolded me “Why have you come here, to give a helping hand or to play?”
The people he wanted me to help are the ones who had been making our life hell. They did everything they could to trouble us. Black magic, gossiping, backstabbing and what not?
Today, when I think about that incident, though it might appear insignificant, I feel disgusted. It’s not just a question of being selfish but of self respect too.
Will you ever help the person who has been harming you intentionally? I won’t. It is unacceptable to a person having self respect and dignity.
Dangers of Not Being Selfish
You lag behind in studies, career, romance and life.
You always feel like you owe the world something.
People take advantage of you.
You waste your life thinking that you are serving others, while in reality you are simply enjoying torturing yourself.
In the end, when you contemplate what have you done in life, you find yourself empty handed because you wasted your life making others successful.
Reasons for Not Being Selfish
You have been told it is bad or unethical.
You have seen your parents sacrificing their lives for others.
You feel it’s cool to put yourself last.
You feel like a martyr by sacrificing your life for others and it just feels good.
You want to be like Spiderman. The superhero who wants to save the world, even if it costs him love (He had so much difficulty admitting that he was in love with Mary Jane)
You simply hate yourself – Yes, this could be one of the reasons. It sounds funny but you may need to work on some deep inner level to develop self love and respect.
Benefits of Selfishness
You get to know who you really are -what are your needs?
what you need to do to improve your health?
What needs to be done to achieve your dream career?
What needs to be done to improve your financial situation and your social status?
You start working on yourself, and gradually your talents start shining
You become powerful and independent
Ultimately, you find yourself capable of helping and serving the family, society, country and the world. This time you can do that for REAL and not just in your fantasies.
If you want to become successful, then selfishness is something that you must seriously consider.
Focus on YOUR studies, YOUR career – YOUR life. FIRST!
Selfishness – The key to success !
